I have a 9 month old!

Can't believe how time just flew by. Last time I wrote in this blog, I had a newborn baby and I was a zombie. It's been 8 months since that last entry and my gosh, I can't believe how much my baby had grown. He will be 9 months old in a week and is about to walk soon! He is also now babbling and saying mama and dada. :) He knows how to wave bye bye and shake his hands after I wash them. He is just the most chill baby. I feel so lucky to be his mommy.

I am turning 36 this year and as much as we are happy to have Hiro in our lives, we know that we are getting old. If we want another baby, we really have to step on the gas. At this time, I have no yaya and having a baby this late in life, I feel is taking a toll on my body. I mean, I know that I can handle it but it's not easy. This year, we're traveling somewhere this year, just my hubby and I and when we get back and if we're still not pregnant, we might be going back to Taiwan for another IVF journey. I really hope we don't have to but at the same time, I really don't want to have to take care of a newborn when I'm 40. Whatever God's plan for us is, I'm grateful.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Hiro's birth story

I was due for my 38th week checkup with my OB on June 7, 2017. It was just one of those days for us. I didn't feel anything different, just my usual pregnant self. My OB usually has an afternoon schedule on Wednesdays but that day, I woke up to a text message from her secretary that the clinic would be moved to 9AM. I panicked a bit since she had ordered that we get an ultrasound and a non-stress test before our next appointment. My husband and I hurriedly prepared to go to the hospital for my checkup and we were there in time for our appointment. It was the routine doppler scan for me and reminders about my upcoming due date. I was already dilated 1cm but was definitely not in active labor. My OB told us that I could give birth anytime at that point but couldn't really say when. I even texted my friend who assured me that she remained at 1cm for an entire week. This put me at ease. I was worried that I'm super unprepared for a surprise delivery. I was supposed to come back the following week if I haven't given birth yet to schedule a possible induction since the baby was getting really big. If we wanted to have a normal delivery, I would have to deliver him soon. She then told us to still get our ultrasound and non-stress test that day.

After the checkup, we went straight to the Women's Health Center for my ultrasound. The baby had grown again and was estimated at around 3 kilos. I guess we had already expected this and carried on with the rest of the things we needed to do that day. I had a urinalysis as well before having lunch then straight to the OB DR complex for my non-stress test. The non-stress test measures the baby's heartbeat and checks if there are changes whenever there are movements and/or contractions, and also measure the strength of my contractions. My stomach would be strapped to a machine in order to measure those things and I hated having to lie on my back for an hour, I remember my hips being in pain. I was having mild contractions that day but really, I couldn't feel them. I remember reading that people have different pain tolerance and perhaps I had a higher one. The resident then asked if she can do another IE since it had been a few hours since my OB did one. I remember hesitating but she convinced us that there could've already been changes so I said okay. It was super painful, compared to the IE my OB did earlier that day. She also told us that at that point, I was at 2-3cm. Apparently, I was in active labor.

Things happened really fast after that. She asked for my admission papers, which my OB had already given me a week or two before and told me that I needed to go to the labor room with the nurse. I wanted to go home, maybe take a bath and prepare our things but I couldn't do that anymore. I had to rely on my husband to do everything at that point. I got really nervous as I listed down the things that my husband had to get from our house to bring to the hospital. I knew that my husband was too. This was it. We were going to meet Hiro in a few hours.

I kissed my husband goodbye and told him to get back as soon as he can. We were supposed to stay in a High Risk Pregnancy Unit so that my husband could be with me as I go through labor but as luck would have it, it was being cleaned that day. I had to be by myself for a few hours. I got wheeled in to the labor room and spent the next few hours in bed, without anyone to talk to really. Plus, I was really thirsty and hungry.

My dilation was progressing normally and I remember meeting the anesthesiologist who asked if I wanted an epidural. I honestly think I could've been able to handle the pain of the contractions without medication but it was the IEs that were painful AF. So I said yes. They said they would take me to the HRPU as soon as they're done administering the epidural. I waited what could've been another hour or more before they took me to the OR. There was a kuya who helped me get into a fetal position and held me in place while the anesthesiologist put the needle in my spine. I took a deep breath for the first injection, which I believe was a general anesthesia. The second one, I didn't feel anymore. The anesthesiologist informed me that feeling itchy would be a side effect of the epidural and I really was itching all over the place. I wanted to scratch every patch of skin in my body.

My OB also came in to tell me that they would rupturing my water. They asked me to lift my body as they fit a bedpan and did it. She told me that the liquid was clear, which was good, and that hopefully, my dilation would progress a lot quicker. At that point, I was at 7cm. Still on track.

I was brought to the HRPU, and they called my husband in shortly after. I was quite surprised that my mom also came. I knew that she was excited to see her apo. I told her that it would take a few hours before she gets to see Hiro so she decided to leave around 11pm. 3 hours had passed when they made another IE and sadly, I was still at 7cm. They decided to do an emergency c section since my baby would be in distress since there was no longer any water. My OB said a prayer for me, husband and my baby, which made me feel at ease.

The next few hours would be a blur for me. Mostly because of the anesthesia and morphine in my system. I could no longer remember some of the conversations that my husband I had haha. I just remember that I was meeting Hiro soon. My father in law also asked if it would be possible for me to give birth on June 8th, which would be an auspicious date for the baby and for us. The doctors assured us that the birth would definitely happen after midnight as they needed to prepare the OR.

I don't think I felt the nervousness anymore since I was so groggy and out of it. I remember being asked for the names of all my doctors right before the procedure. I missed out on my anesthesiologist's name which made her tampo, hehe. I was then told that they will be giving me a drug that would make me feel drowsy but they would make sure that I was awake to hear my baby's first cry.

To be honest, it would probably be a lot different if I had a normal delivery. I wish I did have one. I'm sure I would be able to recount all the details from the room, all the noises, if I wasn't under so much medication. I do remember hearing Hiro cry. I remember my husband sitting near me, clasping his hands together. I remember looking at him and feeling his nerves or maybe excitement even though he was a couple meters away. I remember hearing instructions being given to him on how to cut the cord. I remember taking my very first photo with my son, and our very first family photo.

I hold Hiro as I type this and look back at everything we had to go through to get here. I'd say that everything truly was worth it.

The finish line

It's so close I can almost see the finish line.

I am 36 weeks pregnant as of today. It has been a long journey. Though my pregnancy has been a breeze, I can't say the same for the conception part. It was truly a long and difficult journey filled with self-doubt and heartaches. But you know what, all the pain and sacrifices that led us to where we are now were all worth it.

I can't wait to hold you in my arms, Hiro. :)

Why I had my IVF in Taiwan and not in the Philippines

It’s always a hard thing to leave our comfort zone. At least that’s what I felt when we decided to do our IVF in Taiwan. It was especially hard since my OB-Gyne here in Manila is just the nicest, sweetest person. She also does IVF in St. Lukes QC or BGC. The cost is not that much different if you compare having it done in Manila or in Taiwan. Actually, it’s a lot cheaper in Taiwan. But taking into consideration the cost of staying at a hotel/airbnb, airfare and food, It would say it’s about the same. A lot of people ask us why we had to do it in Taiwan since there’s a popular hospital in Manila that’s currently attracting a lot of women to have IVF done there, it’s called Kato Repro Biotech Center. I personally have never seen any of the doctors there so I can’t say much about Kato but I decided to list a few of the reasons why we decided to do it in Taiwan, particularly in Lee Women’s Hospital in Taichung, which is where we had our successful pregnancy. I’ve also included some of the cons of doing it there too. 

Lee Women's Hospital

PROS

Technology

Don’t get me wrong. St. Lukes is a pretty high tech hospital. I can’t really compare it to other hospitals in Manila since I’ve only had the chance to have some of my treatments in St. Lukes. However, when we visited Lee Women’s Hospital for the first time, Dr. Lee had me do some tests that I’ve never had to do in Manila, including some photos of my chromosomes. They also took a closer look into my husband’s sperm, it definitely wasn’t the usual sperm analysis there. It was too scientific for me to understand but it made me feel that they knew what they were doing. 

Doctors are always on time

I love my doctor but I think we can all agree that doctors here in Manila are known to be notoriously late all the time. I would sometimes wait 3 hours just to see my doctor since she would come in super late for her clinic. I’m sure they all have their reasons for being late but let me tell you that I’ve never had to wait for any doctor in Taiwan. This goes for both Mackay and Lee Women’s Hospital. Dr. Lee Maw-sheng would see hundreds of patients in a day but he is always on time for his 9AM clinic. I would often have to wait just a few minutes before I get to see him. I think they prioritise their foreign patients in Lee Women’s, which is probably why I never have to wait too long but that’s a plus for me! I would usually come in at around 8:30AM, do my ultrasound, see Dr. Lee, pay, pick up my medicine, talk to the nurse, have my injection, have my blood extraction, and be done by 10:30am. If only this was the case in Manila. :) Maybe someday!

Hospitals are super efficient

Whenever I see Dr. Lee, his nurses would print out some stuff that gives you information about your priority number for your next appointment, your medicines and dosage and your blood test request/s. You just pay the hospital’s cashier for everything, including your medicine and pick it up at another counter. It’s just so efficient not having to go to Mercury, only to be told that the medicine you’re looking for is out of stock, or having to pay individually for your ultrasound, doctor’s fee and blood tests. It just makes everything so easy. They even have an injection room! If you don’t want to your injections on your own, just get a number and wait for your turn. A nurse is always ready to do it for you. We were truly impressed by how efficient everything is.

No traffic, no stress!

Traffic is pretty much nonexistent in Taichung. I daresay it’s also the same case in Taipei. Taichung has kind of a provincial feel in comparison to Taipei, but that doesn’t mean it’s not as charming. There are no MRTs but plenty of buses. You know the best thing about public buses in Taichung? They’re free! As long as your destination is less than 10km away, you won’t have to pay a single dollar. Just make sure you have your Easycard with you, because otherwise you have to pay. I admit it’s a little challenging at first since there are tons of bus stops but as they say, Google is your friend. Google Maps in particular. We’re fortunate that we’re able to read a little Chinese so it’s a lot easier for us to read the bus stops. But just familiarise yourself with the your bus stop and bus number, and you’ll be alright. There are also a lot of cheap taxis around. You have to realise that when you’re having IVF done, you have to get an ultrasound every other day, and in Taichung, it has to be done everyday! This is done so the doctor could closely monitor your follicles’ growth and make adjustments on your dosage, if needed. I can’t imagine the stress of having to sit through Manila’s traffic to go to the hospital everyday. I’m pretty sure that the traffic and most doctors’ tardiness would take away half of my day already, if not more. 

Waiting area

Entrance/Exit

CONS

Language barrier

Most of the staff in Lee Women’s Hospital speak English to some degree. It is not the English that we’re used to, since we have different accents but it can be a challenge especially when medical terms are being used. They have two people who are assigned to help out foreign patients but of course you still have to talk to the other staff from time to time. This also applies to your everyday life outside the hospital. Most of the Filipinos who decide to go to Taiwan would usually stay at hotels and buy food. Since most Taiwanese don’t speak English, it can be a struggle to communicate even when you’re doing the most mundane task of having to buy food. This is not to say that the Taiwanese don’t try to communicate, everyone is super nice and try their best to communicate in English but it can be frustrating too. If all else fails, there’s always Google Translate. :)

They’re all about business

This sounds a little vague but when you go to Lee Women’s Hospital, their job is to get you pregnant. As I mentioned before, they see hundreds of patients in a day and they do their ultrasounds like clockwork. In St. Lukes, whenever I have my ultrasound done, they would give a sarong so I can cover up since I have to take off my undies underneath. They have you take your time to undress in the restroom, pee and have your ultrasound done and go back to the restroom to freshen up. It’s always dim in the ultrasound room and they make sure that you’re covered up as the doctor does your ultrasound. In Lee Women’s hospital, you take off your pants/undies in a dressing room type area in the room, have you lie down and spread your legs with just a small piece of cloth to cover you as they do their business. I’m talking about a face towel-sized cloth. This was a bit shocking to me initially but I just had to remember that they do this to hundreds of women on a daily basis and that they don’t care about what your private parts look like. Once done, you go back to the dressing room and dress up. 

Consultations take no longer than 5 minutes

A routine consultation with my OB-Gyne here in Manila takes about 30 minutes at least. In Taiwan, since they are super efficient, I kid you not when I say that the doctor only sees you for 1-2 minutes, 5 minutes tops if you ask questions. You can say that they’re always in a hurry but I think it’s more because they’re so experienced that they already know what to do for a lot of different cases and I guess it’s also a cultural thing. Of course, they would explain what needs to be done for your next appointment but it just leaves very little time for you to ask any follow up questions since the next woman is already waiting. 

It really is a baby factory

Before we even went to Taiwan, we already knew what to expect. We knew there would be a lot of women having their treatment done there and you’re just one of them. If you’re okay with that, like we were, then Taiwan might be for you.

In the end, what my husband and I really were after are the results. I had already heard about Kato and their minimal stimulation IVF but since I had a problem with egg quality due to PCOS, we just decided that we needed a more aggressive approach and that having it done in Manila might not be the best for us. I’m super thankful that we ended up doing it in Taichung despite my initial hesitations because we are now blessed with a baby. I’m thankful to Dr. Lee Maw-sheng for convincing us to do PGS to minimise the risk of miscarriage, which I’ve had a history of and so we can be assured that the embryo being transferred will a normal one. If I had the chance to have another IVF cycle, I would probably to it again in Lee Women’s Hospital. :)

Pregnancy test result!

Baby's first photo

Almost 5 months ago, October 15th, I was in my hotel room while my husband was sound asleep beside me. I tossed and I turned, trying to get at least a couple hours’ sleep. I don’t know if it was the feeling of excitement or anxiousness that kept me up that night. The previous day, I already bought a home pregnancy test so I could test early in the morning before I had to do it in the hospital. I guess I just wanted to be ready, whatever the result would be. With only 1-2 hours worth of sleep, that morning, I wait for the pregnancy test to tell me my fate. I was ready whatever it was. If it turns out to be negative, I already told my husband that we’d come back in January/February for another round. Of course, I was trying to still be positive. I take a deep breath and look at the result. Positive. We were pregnant! 

Positive!

I was also pregnant 2 years before this pregnancy and it ended in a blighted ovum so I was praying that this time around, it would be different. I prayed that this would really be it. Having to go through a blighted ovum or a miscarriage was just so hard. I didn’t want to go through anything like that again. We went to the hospital that morning and they had me take 2 more pregnancy tests. Both were positive. We took photos with Dr. Lee and said our thank you’s and goodbyes as we were scheduled to go home the next working day. We took home boxes and boxes of Crinone , which was supposed to help baby stick. I also had to continue taking Duphaston and Estradiol until my 10th week. 

I guess one of the happiest days of my life was seeing my baby and being able to hear his heartbeat for the first time. I just couldn’t believe I was pregnant and my baby had a heartbeat! It was just a lot to process. It seems weird because we had been waiting to get pregnant for 8 long years and once it really happened, it still took a while to sink in. It reminded me how amazing God is. We had egg retrieval twice, had 25 eggs, only 1 survived to Day 5, that embryo turned out to be normal, I had just 1 embryo transferred to me and now, 1 baby in my tummy. I remember Dr. Lee telling us that our embryo was only of average quality and there was a 30-40% chance of pregnancy. But you know what, God had an amazing plan for us. He truly wanted us to be parents. 

I’m now on my 24th week of pregnancy. 16 weeks to go until we meet our baby boy. Just a couple of months to go before we become a family. :)

The waiting game

I went back to Taichung about 2 weeks ago for my FET. I went back to the hospital on my Day 11 and was given a bunch of meds, PIO injections and Crinone gel that I needed for my FET. This is my very first FET and my second embryo transfer and I was kinda shocked that I still needed that much medicine, in addition to Progesterone that I had to inject through my butt. I didn't want to go to the hospital on a daily basis just for the injections so I forced my husband to do the injecting for me. He was totally terrified at the thought of poking a huge needle into my butt but he really didn't have a choice.

Day 18, I went back to the hospital for the embryo transfer. We were asked to be in the hospital by 8am. I went straight to the injection room for 3 injections then paid for the procedure, which was a total of 50,000NTD. I then had my ultrasound done, and my lining was at 1.0cm which was good. Also had some blood tests done before staying in the VIP room to wait for my turn.

One thing that was totally different from my first embryo transfer in Mackay was there was a massage right before the procedure. It was a short back massage, maybe around 30 minutes long but it was just something I didn't expect. It felt good though and made relax a little.

After the massage, I found myself waiting in the VIP room again. I was called and was led to the operating room. There were a total of 3 women, including myself in the room. I was the last one of the three. It was a little weird that when the procedure started, Chinese-sounding instrumental music was played as Dr. Lee would do each of the transfer. At this point, I must tell you that I only they were only transferring my one and only embryo, which was not the best quality. Dr. Lee told us that he's looking at a 30% chance of pregnancy given the grade of the embryo that we had. Of course, we were sad that we didn't have a better embryo but I am relieved that it has normal chromosomes, based on the PGS they did.

Today is Day 5 post transfer. I sit in my hotel room wondering what God has in store for me. It is also a Sunday and I was able to catch the livestream of CCF's praise and worship today. It's all about Jesus being our shepherd and how we are completely helpless without Him. We have to trust in Him and depend on Him for everything that we do and we are. Whatever happens, I just know that He has a plan for me.

Try and try

I'm turning 34 in a few months and the thought of growing older terrifies me. I'm such a happy-go-lucky person but facing the fact that my eggs have an expiration date really scares me to the core. I want to be able to give my husband a child and I know that it's not too late yet. So I just better get at it and try again. The next cycle is another opportunity to be a mom and I haven't given up yet. I'm back in Manila but I'm going back to Taiwan when I get my period. Hopefully, we get to retrieve more eggs this time around.