This is not the end

2 days before my supposed ovum pickup, I came in for another consultation. I had my blood test and ultrasound done before I saw Dr. Lee.

I just knew that something was wrong when I saw Dr. Lee's expression when he saw my E2 test result. As he explained that my E2 had dropped significantly, I felt like crying. He told me that having low estradiol meant that my follicles were no longer developing properly and that they are not of good quality. It wouldn't make any sense to continue with the IVF and that we should try again next time.

I couldn't believe it. We had been in Taipei for 3 weeks only to have our IVF cancelled. It was heartbreaking. Tears fell down as soon as we stepped out of the clinic. I just couldn't help it. I felt like a failure. I had endured the daily injection and the daily commute to the hospital for 15 straight days, only to be told that we should go home.

I'm the type of person who doesn't dwell on negativity. Although this was definitely hard for me and my husband, I know that God has a plan for us. We will come back to Taipei better and a lot more ready. With God's grace, I know that we will become parents in His perfect time. This is not the end.